


Mashed Potatoes in the Recipe for Love

by Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)



Series: The Long Distance Problem [12]
Category: YouTube- RPF
Genre: Banter, I've been watching too much anime, M/M, Phone Conversations, a ton of banter, and dumb flirting, golly guys, i just think they're cute ok, i laughed my ass off at my own title, valentine's day fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 11:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13680813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/pseuds/Pseudthisyafucks
Summary: Mashed potatoes, phone calls, and a Valentine's surprise.





	Mashed Potatoes in the Recipe for Love

**Author's Note:**

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Potatoes weren’t the most romantic meal you could have, especially not two meals in a row, going on three, but Jack had filled his day with mindless recording so he wouldn’t have to see all the cute couples outside celebrate Valentine’s Day. This wasn’t like his birthday, thankfully. He knew exactly where Felix was, the crazy bastard. Felix and been planning this trip to Japan for over a year, and Jack wasn’t about to keep the guy from visiting his home-away-from-home, the fucking adorable weeb. And anyways, Felix was flying home today, so they’d just celebrate tomorrow. 

Jack smiled to himself as he remembered where he’d gotten them dinner reservations. Felix always poked fun at the Irish, so Jack had gotten them a table at an Irish Rugby pub, just to spite him. His own little piece of revenge for being away on Valentine’s Day, even though it wasn’t even their first Valentine’s Day together, so it was hardly a big deal to either of them. 

Potatoes were also amazing, Jack was just going to put that out there. The most versatile of ingredients— you could boil them, fry them, stick them in a stew. You could do damn near anything with potatoes and they were perfect for nearly any diet. Jack spun around the kitchen on his tiptoes to the jazz music playing, holding a peeled potato in his hands. He did this for about ten seconds before he realized how absolutely bat shit that would look to anyone else and quickly threw the potato into the pot of water on the stove. Mashed potatoes were a labor of love, and well worth the effort. 

His phone rang and it was Felix— fuck yeah it was Felix, bitch owed him a phone call from two days ago— so Jack let it ring until the last tone before picking up and gasping, “oh _hi_ , Felix! I haven’t heard from you in so long! How’re the kids, darling?”

 _“Dude, fuck off_ ,” Felix laughed. Jack smiled widely at the sound. He missed the idiot, but god, he hadn’t heard Felix laugh like that in a long while. The vacation had been good for him and Jack couldn’t wait for him to be home so Jack could reap the rewards for himself. Namely just cuddling the fuck out of Felix without having to explain himself. 

 _“Sorry I haven’t called,”_ Felix said sheepishly. _“I got caught up in all this shit. There’s like, so much food, Seán, I think I’ve eaten more this past week than I have for the entirety of 2018 and I’m literally so full. And it’s all PJ’s fault.”_

Jack grinned and grabbed the masher to beat the fuck out of these potatoes as they were done boiling. “Think you’re gonna be able to eat tomorrow? You’re damn supposed to, I don’t care how jet lagged ye’ are.”

_“I’ll go to your stupid pub, Seán, jesus christ.”_

“Wanna hear about my day?” Jack asked, noticing the tiredness in Felix’s voice. Sometimes his boyfriend was super fucking perfect and called him just to hear his voice. It warmed the cockles of Jack’s heart. “I had a super busy day, Felix, got a shit ton of potatoes.”

_“Wow. Way to live above the stereotypes.”_

“Fuck you, they’re part of an amazing balanced breakfast.”

_“What’d you do today, Seán?”_

Jack could almost imagine Felix lying back in his hotel bed, tired and just at the edges of falling asleep, phone to his ear with his eyes closed as he listened. Except Jack could hear the rhythm of cars and an engine in the background of the phone, so he wasn’t sure where Felix was, but it wasn’t his usual spot when it came to just listening to Jack drone on and on. Still, Jack wasn’t going to deny him. Not after he’d asked so nicely.

“So first, I recorded some more of that prop hunt game that ye’ve totally forgotten the existence of with Mark and Wade and Bob,” he said, mashing up the potatoes as he spoke. “I gotta say, it’s nice to be friends with them again. Especially fucking Bob, ye’ know? I missed all the guys.”

 _“You’re welcome,”_ Felix said with no haughtiness or arrogance to his tone. Jack rolled his eyes anyways. It hurt a little.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you pushed, I pushed back, then I got my shit together. It’s all in the past now. I’m friends with him again, and the Sceptipler fandom won’t leave me alone again. Seriously. I stream? Sceptiplier all up and down the chat. It’s crazy.”

_“You’re not gonna cheat on me, right, baby?”_

Jack laughed, shaking his head and nearly dropping his phone from where it was wedged between his shoulder and ear. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m a little caught up in this stupid Swede that’s in another country at the moment. Can’t very well think of cheating when all he does is send me dumb selfies of himself being Kawaii as fuck in the land of the Kawaii as fuck.”

_“You love my stupid selfies.”_

“I love your stupid face.”

 _“Awh,”_ Felix cooed. _“I love you too, Jack Spedicey.”_

“Oh my god,” Jack groaned, taking a moment so he wouldn’t roll his eyes again. The last time had hurt a little too much. “I am serious, though, expect a shit ton of Septiplier anywhere. We should’ve come out before this. Otherwise you’re gonna get slaughtered.”

_“Seán, Seán, Seán, you know me. I’m a Shakespearean romantic. I love my dirty little secrets.”_

“Calling me short?”

_“Well, I certainly wasn’t talking about your dick.”_

Jack laughed again. “So I played with them and maybe got teased a little, but whatever, they’ve all got girlfriends, they can be teased right the fuck back. Swear to god, have a vibrator on your shelf one time and that’s all they can think about.”

 _“Do you still have that thing?”_ Felix asked. _“Because you should definitely use it. For me. Like, on video. Please.”_

“Maybe for your birthday,” Jack hummed. “So once I finished that, I played Subnautica for, like, five fucking hours and got basically nothing done. All I managed to really do was farm the fuck out of the map. I’ve got some pretty cool bases going, downright fucking mansions. Once multiplayer becomes a thing— if ever— I’ll make ye’ get the game and I’ll give you a tour of our love plaza.”

_“Love what?”_

“I made us a love plaza in the game, Felix.”

_“Uh, like, really?”_

“I mean, on a separate game file. No way in hell could I make that and record it and not have people screamed _Septiplier_ in the comments.”

_“Wow. You seem a little bitter about that whole thing.”_

“Jelix is the best ship, ten out of ten.”

Felix laughed again. There was the sound of the outdoors around him now, the whistle of wind and cars passing. _“What’d you do after Subnautica?”_

“I Skyped with Robin for about an hour,” Jack said. “We talked about what I wanted for some video editing and shit, the usual. Then he tried to get me to tell him my secret of how I keep my voice from going out every fucking day. He doesn’t believe me when I say it just comes naturally to me.”

_“That’s right, Seán, you’re such a natural with your throat.”_

“Felix, don’t make me roll my eyes again, I think I’m gonna have a brain aneurism.”

_“Is the strain too much? Do you think you maybe just need to relax? It feels good eventually, I swear it does.”_

Jack finished mashing the potatoes and lamented the loss of being able to beat on something instead of yelling at Felix for being such a perverted little cutie. “You’re not clever.”

 _“You’re right,”_ and then, in Felix’s best (which was the worst) iDubbbz impression, _“I’m gay!”_

“So then!” Jack pushed on loudly, just to let Felix know that he was blatantly ignoring him. “I recorded some more Shadow of the Colossus. Gorgeous game, by the way, but you know that. You fucking finished the thing the day it came out.”

_“Wander is my real boyfriend.”_

“I’ll fucking fight him,” Jack said idly as he finished off the potatoes. Now he was on the the rest of his meal, and he had no idea what to make. Probably something with meat. He had all the ingredients for taco salad, but mashed potatoes did not belong in that equation. “Seriously, Felix, Wander may be much more skilled with a sword and have amazing upper body strength, but I will fight for your love.”

Felix giggled. _“Dude, have I ever told you how fucking pure your flirting is?”_

“Cause our love is pure, Felix. Pure perfection.”

Felix sighed, sounding content. _“Fuck, I miss you.”_

Jack paused in looking through the kitchen. There was a little something extra to that in Felix’s voice, a sad sort of longing, but that really wasn’t supposed to be there. Felix was coming off the ends of vacation, he was supposed to be stuck in a perpetual cycle of happiness. “Hey, hey, now,” Jack said. “None of that. I’ll see ye’ tomorrow.”

_“That’s too far away.”_

Jack frowned and turned his attention away from food entirely. “Felix?”

_“It’s just weird, because PJ says that this shouldn’t really bother me, you know? We just had an amazing time with your birthday before I left, but then I’m suddenly missing you again not even a week later. PJ says I’m like, addicted or whatever. I don’t remember the word he used. Obsessed?”_

“Crazy in love?” Jack suggested. “Rihanna would approve.”

_“Dude, I’m being serious here.”_

“I know ye’ are. I don’t like it. Vacation-Felix isn’t supposed to give a fuck about anything. Vacation-Felix is like a hippie constantly dosed on marijuana and THC or whatever. You’re not supposed to be sad. If anyone’s sad, it’s me.” Jack pulled on a pout. “I’m the one who’s all alone. But it don’t matter, Fe’. We’ll see each other again tomorrow.”

 _“You sure about that?”_  
Jack opened his mouth to call Felix a jerk and a lame John Cena, but the doorbell rang. “Hold on, hold on,” He told Felix. “Hold that depressing thought, I’ve got to get the door. Did you order anything?” 

Felix didn’t answer as Jack went to answer the door. He set his phone to the side to keep from being rude in preparation to sign for whatever the fuck was at the door. “Hold on, Felix!” Jack cried out to his phone before throwing the door open. 

Felix smiled fondly back at him from the doorstep, a brow raised. “You put me on hold? Fucking rude, Seán.”

Jack had a split second for his brain to process what he was seeing before he launched himself outside and threw his arms around Felix’s neck. He dragged his boyfriend into the house and slammed the door shut, kissing him hard. “You’re the fucking worst,” he giggled, squeezing Felix tight and smiling against his lips. “Ye’ should’ve said something.”

“And ruin the surprise?” Felix shook his head. He had his arms around Jack’s waist, holding him against his chest. “The look on your face when you opened the door was worth the red eye.” Felix pulled away from the kiss to press his lips to Jack’s forehead in a gentle, loving gesture. Jack felt Felix’s hand creep into his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. Jack nearly fucking purred.

“I hope you weren’t serious about eating too much,” Jack said. “Because I’ve got a fuckin’ bowl of mashed potatoes, and believe me, my potatoes are the equivalent of your meatballs.”

“So many sex jokes, Seán, oh my god.”

Jack pulled back to slap his arm. “I’m gonna smear your face in my mashed potatoes.”

“And I look forward to it.” Felix pulled him back into his chest, hugging him tightly. “I love you, Seán,” he said softly. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Jack buried his face in Felix’s neck. “Couldn’t ask for anyone better to spend it with.”


End file.
